Healthy Body

How I am Changing My Relationship with Food

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Me about 1 year ago. Not unhappy, but unhealthy.

Last year I knew I was unhealthy. I knew it because I felt it. It wasn’t just my weight, it was my energy levels, it was my skin, it was my aches and pains—they all told me I was unhealthy. And I was ready to listen to my body and do something about it.

But what was I going to do?

Over the past two years I had seen posts and done a little research into Whole30, but I had no idea what it actually was. I knew it was extreme, and I knew I needed extreme. So I started to read more about it.

As I researched, I realized this was the plan I was looking for. I wasn’t looking for a diet to lose weight quick. I wanted knowledge. I wasn’t afraid of putting in some hard work, but I wanted to know that I would come out the other side empowered and inspired to keep going.

That is what Whole30 has done for me.

I have committed to openly sharing my health journey, and Whole30 has been a big part of that. My relationship with food has changed in the past nine months and I think yours can too.

My goal is to share somewhat of a beginner’s guide to the plan. Whether you are looking to make some changes yourself, or you are simply curious what all the Whole30 hype is about—please keep reading.

What you need to know about Whole30

1) Who is Whole30 for?

Whole30 if for people who are sick and tired of being sick and tired.

That’s me. Maybe it’s you too. This plan is not specifically for male or female, old or young, overweight or skinny people. It’s adaptable and it’s for anyone.

 

2) What is Whole30?

Whole30 is a 30-day plan to reset your relationship with food. The creator, Melissa Hartwig, is clear that it’s not a diet. Diets are temporary. Diets work fast. Diets focus on weight loss.

Whole30 focuses on learning your body. What foods fuel your body well? What foods make your body react poorly?

Whole30 aims to eliminate inflammation-causing foods for 30 days and then slowly reintroduce them over the next 15 days to see how your body reacts to them. The foods it recommends to remove are done so because they are known to cause reactions in some people.

Are they all affecting you when you eat them? Probably not. But the truth is, I didn’t know what in my diet was affecting me because I had never isolated any specific foods.

By removing all these foods for 30 days, you are giving your body a chance to heal itself. When you start reintroducing these food items one group at a time, you will notice if something triggers an unpleasant reaction. These reactions could be digestive, skin related, headaches, weight gain . . . and the list goes on!

You then have the knowledge to make your future food decisions.

My husband, for example, knew for a while that pizza messed up his stomach. But what was it about pizza? Was it the cheese? Was it the gluten in the crust? Was it the meat toppings he was choosing? By isolating each of these areas in reintroduction, he now knows dairy is not kind to his stomach.

He can use this knowledge to make better food choices when he is out. If there is a choice between cake and ice cream, he knows he likes the ice cream more, but then has to decide whether it is worth the stomachache later. Poor Brian! He’ll probably end up passing on both, because if he can’t have ice cream what’s the fun in cake?!

Whole30 is about arming yourself with knowledge. It is about learning to make choices that serve you, not learning to follow a list of rules to get typical results.

If you are looking for a temporary meal plan that will make you drop some pounds fast so you can then go right back to your old habits—this is not for you.

If you are tired of yo-yoing and looking for something sustainable—this may be for you.

whole30 is arming yourself

3) What do I have to give up?

I’ll be honest, the list is daunting! So, I’ll just list off the major things quick—like ripping off a Band-Aid!

Avoid:

Dairy—cow, goat, sheep products
ALL grains—even gluten-free ones
Sugar—natural and artificial
Legumes—beans, soy, peanuts
Additives—sulphites, msg, carrageenan
Alcohol—not even in cooking

Those are the basic things to avoid.

But then it gets into the real heart of the matter.

There are three Key Principles that will make or break your overall success:

  1. No baked goods.

This one rule might have helped me succeed in changing my habits more than anything else.

If I am craving a brownie and I make a delicious concoction with ground up almonds and dates and cacao and use all ingredients that are “approved”, my mind knows that. But all my taste buds know is that I wanted something sweet and I got it. This does nothing to change my actual cravings and habits.

To follow this path out, think of yourself one week after you have finished a strict diet. Every evening when the kids are finally in bed, you have been enjoying a “fake” treat. But suddenly those restrictions are no longer around you and you find yourself slowly reaching for the real, much more satisfying, brownie.

Maybe it takes you more than a week to slip back into your old ways. But when you swap out ingredients to create “just as good” treats, you have not changed habits, you have just temporarily substituted what you really want.

Imagine the same scenario at three o’clock in the afternoon. You are tired and just want chocolate so bad. But you are on a diet. So instead you grab a handful of berries and a banana.

You made a healthy choice.  But you still made a sweet choice.

You had a sweet craving and you fed it. When your willpower weakens and your diet guidelines relax, that three o’clock craving is still there and this time you will reach for the chocolate. I know. I’m talking about myself.

But what if you could actually defeat that craving?

You can tackle it one of two ways:

Option One: You can eat a bigger, more fat-filled lunch that will carry over until your evening meal. I know, “fat filled” doesn’t usually come into play when we are talking about getting healthy.

But good fats fill you up and give you energy. It’s not a bad thing. If you know you ate a satisfying lunch, wait five minutes when that craving comes up. Are you really hungry? Or are you just stressed out or bored?

Letting the craving pass unsatisfied tells your mind you don’t really need sugar at that moment. You are retraining your habits.

Option Two: Maybe you wait five minutes and your stomach starts to rumble and the desire just gets stronger. You really are hungry! Don’t just reach for something sweet—that’s feeding your normal habits and cravings.

Instead, be prepared with a protein and fat packed snack. This could be nuts, boiled eggs, lunch meat, and maybe even a banana with the protein. Basically, have a mini-meal. If you can do it sitting at a table, even better!

Train your mind to know you eat planned, full meals and don’t just snack mindlessly throughout the day.

Changing your habits is hard. It takes time. But when I realize it took me over 30 years to create these habits, it makes it a little easier to give myself some time to change them.

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  1. No Weighing Yourself

Seeing the numbers go down on a scale is super motivating. But the same number over and over can make you lose all motivation.  If you have ever been on a diet before, you know this first hand.

You have made such hard choices for an entire week. You have passed up baked goods, you have menu planned, you have gone out and exercised.  You step on the scale ready to see the results of all your hard work. And the number has not changed from the week before.

All that hard work seems pointless. You might as well just eat the donut today, it didn’t do any good to pass it up last week.

Or maybe you lost weight, but it wasn’t quite as big as you wanted. So this week you will starve yourself a little more. You’ll push harder in your training. You know this kind of dedication and sacrifice is not sustainable, but you just want to reach that goal quickly.

Real life change takes time.

And real health means so much more than a number. Do not sabotage your success by playing head games with a scale.

If you really follow the rules of Whole30, you weigh yourself on Day 1 and Day 30. And chances are the numbers will go down. They have for me each time I have done it.

But that was just one of the results I have noticed—not the whole picture. 

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September 2017: Before my first Whole30 & April 2018: After 2 rounds of Whole30
  1. No Counting Things

This is one of the things I love most about Whole30!

I don’t count calories!  I don’t count macros!  I don’t count points!  I just eat!  It’s glorious!

I am super unorganized at tracking things. I start and then I don’t follow through. Yes, I need to be more disciplined, but I need to be more disciplined in a lot of areas of my life.

Adding up calories or counting points is not an area I want to give my energy.

I focus on putting healthy, non-processed foods into my body and I do it until I’m full and then I stop.

It’s an amazing concept really.

 

Okay, enough with what you can’t do…

4) What can I eat?

So much good food!

For real. Meat, vegetables, fruit, nuts, oils—it’s all fair game!

Here’s a big thing for me: you don’t have to cut out carbs. Woohoo! I eat potatoes when I am doing a Whole30. I don’t make homemade chips or French fries (that goes along with fake baked goods), but I do enjoy potatoes as an addition to a lot of meals.

Why do I love this? It all goes back to sustainability and motivation.

I know I could lose weight faster if I cut out the majority of my carbohydrate intake. But I’m not looking for a fast solution. I’m trying to change my habits and lifestyle.

I can be as boring or as creative as I want when I am following Whole30. I could eat chicken and broccoli every day for lunch and dinner. Yuck! That would make me go crazy! Or I could spend hours in the kitchen every evening making a variety of gourmet dishes from scratch.

I recommend falling somewhere between repetitive meals and time-consuming meals.

I have learned so much about cooking and tried so many new things in the past year. It’s amazing how much your taste buds change when you totally remove sugar from your diet.

I love flavor now. I love experimenting with new ingredients and recipes.

Will this happen for everyone who follows Whole30? No.

It’s like anything else in life, you will get out what you put in.

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5) How Hard is this really?

We’ve all said it, “I could never go without chocolate for 30 days!” Or “I just can’t drink my coffee black”.

Right away some of you have read these rules and told yourself, this is too hard for me.

Melissa Hartwig is maybe most famous for her tough love on this subject. You can find her now famous response on the official whole30 website.

This is not hard. Don’t you dare tell us this is hard. Fighting cancer is hard. Birthing a baby is hard. Losing a parent is hard. Drinking your coffee black. Is. Not. Hard. You’ve done harder things than this, and you have no excuse not to complete the program as written. It’s only thirty days, and it’s for the most important health cause on earth—the only physical body you will ever have in this lifetime.

I agree. There are harder things in life than drinking black coffee. I have gone through one of the hardest things anyone can face in life when I lost my son. I’m not even going to compare the two.

But that said—THIS IS HARD!

It is hard for the same reason grief is hard. It forces us to get real with our own thoughts. You will have to fight through every excuse you or someone else will throw at you. You will have to determine beforehand that there are no “cheat days” and that you can’t tell yourself “just this one time”.

You will have to know your health is worth more than 30 days of sacrifice.

I think there were a few things that helped me achieve that focus and complete a “cheat-free” Whole30.

First, I bought the book * (Whole30:The Official 30 Day Guide  or if you are in the UK, this version) a month before I started.

I read the book. I absorbed the message into my heart. I wanted to change my habits and not just achieve a quick fix. I recommend you do the same. If you aren’t going to buy the book, at least spend some time on the website.

Next, I had a partner.

brian and I in the rain
Encouraging each other even in the storms

Brian was 100% committed along with me to do this thing. This was best-case scenario and I realize that. My partner was my best friend who also happens to live in the same house as me, do life with me daily, and had my best interest at heart.

If you are single or your spouse is not interested in participating, I believe you can still be successful. You can enlist accountability in other friends who are going solo, or even find an online community.

If you can’t find current accountability, find someone who has gone through it in the past and will tell you, “Yes, it’s hard, but it’s possible!” (Cough cough, me!)

I’m not saying Whole30 is for everyone. There are very few things in life that are for everyone. But it was for me. And maybe it is for you. Are you willing to find out?

—Rebekah

*This post contains an affiliate link. That means if you clink on the link and buy the book, I get a portion of the sale and you don’t pay any extra!

healthy family, Healthy Soul

Sharing the Joy, Sharing the Pain

It’s almost been one month since we lost our sweet baby boy.

In the past month:

I have learned that clueless three-year-olds are a gift from God. Boston has made us laugh and continued on with his happy little life in spite of everything going on around him.

I have decided if there were an award for grieving, Brooklyn would win it. She talks about Beckett at least once every day. She draws pictures of him and writes letters to him. She somehow lives her life in a way that remembers him and honors him, without any heaviness. She is sad, but she is strong. She is one amazing girl.

I have been thankful for my marriage. I ache for Brian’s pain. He wants to take mine away. We both have moments of strength and hard moments, but we have them together.

I have felt God’s strength and comfort in a way I have never experienced before. I have never needed to experience it to this extent before. I can’t explain it, and I don’t think I need to be able to explain it. I just know that I would not be handling this the way I am without Him.

God’s love for me does not surprise me. God is love. It’s what He does because it’s who He is. What amazes me is the love being shown to us by other people. I know myself. I am a sinner. I make mistakes. I know Brian. I think he’s the greatest husband in the world (obviously), but I know he is very human as well. We are not amazing or exceptional people.   But we have made an intentional choice to share our lives with other people, and it is a choice we would make again 100 times.

We brought Beckett home from the hospital on September 15th. That morning Brian’s parents flew back to the US. We were bringing our third child home from the hospital with our closest relative 4,000 miles away. We were faced with a choice at that time. We could pretend to be self-sufficient and try to make it through this newly complicated life on our own. “Our little family of five is great and we don’t need any help!” Or we could share our lives with those around us. We could ask for and accept help. In the first scenario, I think we would have survived. It would have been hard, but we could have made it through each day. But we didn’t choose that option.

When Beckett was born we chose to share our lives, and we chose to share our little boy with those God had placed around us. And we loved it. Beckett quickly captured the hearts of our friends, our church, and pretty much anyone we passed in the village. He had big bright eyes and around two-months-old he started showing off a big smile to go with it.

We shared our little boy through the beauty of technology as well. Our family that couldn’t hold Beckett with their arms got to smile and talk to him online. Even my 90-year-old grandmother got to hold the iPad right up to her face and admire her eighth great-grandchild. Our friends could meet Beckett through social media. And our financial and prayer supporters in ministry were able to rejoice with us from a distance.

Life was hard with three kids. But the friends and the community that surrounded us made it enjoyable. I knew this thing we were experiencing was special. Brian and I often asked ourselves what we did to deserve such blessings from God. Why did we get to be the lucky ones that loved life and thrived in our current circumstances?

On January 4th our circumstances changed. We lost our little boy. At that point we had another choice to make. We could huddle our little family of four close and retreat in our hurt. Or we could continue to share this life with others.

Those people we let into our lives, they were hurting too. Our community that rejoiced with us and loved our little boy, this affected them too. The people near and far, the people that held Beckett in their arms, and the ones that held him in their hearts, it touched all of us. Brian, Rebekah, Brooklyn, and Boston didn’t experience this hurt alone. So we chose to share the pain just like we shared the joy.

This month I have learned many lessons. Some were not new lessons, but reinforced truths. One thing I know is that this life is meant to be shared. We might have been able to survive Beckett’s life on our own, but I question whether we could have survived his death without our friends.

Choosing to share our lives is a choice we will make over and over again. And it’s a choice I would boldly tell you to make today.   I’m not suggesting you begin to post photos of all your meals and family outings on Facebook (though I won’t complain if you do). I’m suggesting you invite someone over for dinner tonight. Offer to babysit for a couple that could use some alone time. Take a new mom and her baby out for coffee. Stop to have a conversation with the neighbor you wave at in passing each day. I’m suggesting you take the first step to make a real connection.

This choice to share our lives—it is a choice that can leave us vulnerable to hurt and can end up quite messy. But it is also a choice that can bring us unbelievable hope and joy. It’s a choice that comes with a risk. But it’s a risk that I’m willing to take.

I look forward to continuing to share our life with you—the joy and the pain.

 

-Rebekah

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2016: Moments, Stories and Risks

It’s 2016—bright, shiny and full of possibility. I am a lover of new years. I love making my lists and goals for the new year. This year I have a bit of a struggle: I really loved 2015. I kinda don’t want to say good-bye to it. In 2015 my family moved from the USA to the UK and loved it. In 2015 my lifestyle changed and I lost 60 pounds. In 2015 I saw people say yes to Jesus and lives changed. 2015 was good to me.

Brian and I like to set a word and a verse as a theme for our family for the year. And in the last week of the year, God pressed this word on my heart: Experience. Then the ball just started rolling. Goodbye to 2015 became easier as I started to ask myself: What do I need to do in my life to really experience this year?

  • I need to stay as healthy as I can.

I know you can’t simply plan a healthy year. Sometimes, illness happens that we have no control over. But there are things that we can plan. The food I put into my body and the exercise I do—that is under my control.

And as I was thinking about that, God brought this verse to my mind as well:

Taste and see that the Lord is good. Psalms 34:8

I’ve always thought this was a kind of strange verse. But when I put it in the context with everything else God has been doing in my life it got me all kinds of excited! I already stated that I lost 60 pounds in the past year and that God is really teaching me a lot about health. Probably the greatest lesson I have learned is to eat real food: food that God created for us to eat. Taste and see that the Lord is Good.

  • I need to spend less time on my phone.

I can deny it as much as I want, but I spend too much time distracted by my phone. It’s a fact and it needs to stop. To truly experience life around me- I need to look up and connect with life around me. Taste and SEE that the Lord is Good.

  • I need to say NO.

I’ve written about this before so I won’t spend time on it now. But sometimes saying NO to good things makes room in your life for the best things.

  • I need to say YES.

I’m not at all confusing am I? There is a time to say no and turn down opportunities. But experience is about taking risks. It’s about saying yes even when it makes my stomach churn and my head scream NO! In experiencing 2016 I want God to do things in my life that I don’t see coming, things that I can’t do on my own. That means I need to be willing to follow His leading in my life. I need to follow that leading even when it is outside my comfort zone. I don’t like typing that. It might seem like someone who left her home country shouldn’t have a struggle being a risk taker. Someone who followed God across an ocean should be a little spontaneous. You’d think that, right? I like my lists. I like my plans. It’s more than a little scary for me to pray, “God, mess my life up.”

It’s even scarier to mean it.

When I first came up with the theme of Experience, I had thoughts of family vacations and days out. I thought of hikes and new places. But what if God wants me to experience something totally different in 2016? What if my experiences are scary and even if they are not fun at the time? Am I content to know that “the Lord is Good”? Do I trust that He knows the plans He has for me, and that they are good plans? Do I trust that, even if they mess up my plans I have for myself? I pray at the end of the year I will be able to answer- yes, I trust that!

So that’s it. That’s the big plan for 2016. Experience. Moments not things. Stories not souvenirs. Risks not comfort.   It’s time to taste and see that the Lord is good.

Rebekah

 

 

 

Healthy Body

5 Things I did to Lose 60 Pounds

before after photo with words

 

It’s time for my now annual Birthday Post. On my 30th birthday I did a lot of goal setting. 30 felt momentous. Like I was embarking on something new. And I did! I knew I was moving to a new country, I knew my life was changing. I knew I needed to make certain changes. One of those changes was my health. While my birthday is in November, I didn’t actually start doing something about it until the end of February. Since that time I have lost 60 pounds in 9 months and hopefully gained some insight into this personal journey of mine.

The most common question people get when they lose weight is, “What did you do?” So this is what I did:

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  • I set goals. Before we even moved, before I changed any habits- I envisioned the future. I created a secret Pinterest board full of motivational quotes, success stories, and tips. I made a note on my phone setting out my rewards for every 10 pounds lost. Some of them were big- at 50 pounds lost was a new haircut and my first ever color! Some were small-60 pounds is a new coffee cup. I set a plan for saving money for those rewards, and I made a visual representation of my goal. I did all of this before I ever lost the first pound.

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Boston has gotten lots of rides in this pack this year

  • I started an active lifestyle. Brian and I have always loved going for walks, I’ve had gym memberships before, but I never actually had an active lifestyle. Our lovely village makes this so possible for me. I think an active lifestyle looks different for different people. For me it means I walk my daughter to school in the morning (1 mile round trip) and walk her home in the afternoons. I started an exercise program. At first it was twice a week, now I strive for 5 days a week and land somewhere around 3-4. Our family chooses to walk to places in our village instead of drive whenever time and weather allow. We spend our evening playing at the park instead of cooped up inside (again, this was easier in the summer). It’s the discipline to be ready earlier and the desire to be healthy that drives me to keep up with these changes.

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Almond Flour, Cheese-less Pizza

  • I focused on eating real food. I have not dieted in the past year. I did do a 30 day “cleanse” which consisted of no flour, no sugar, no dairy. For the most part I have stayed away from gluten (I’m not intolerant, but my body just doesn’t respond well to it) and I am daily striving to stay away from added sugars. As a general rule, we try to eat clean in our house. Meaning we eat food that is grown or raised instead of manufactured. I have always been a picky eater. When I was in 4th grade, I went an entire year refusing to eat anything red. I wouldn’t eat lettuce until I was in college. And don’t get me started on pickles… This year my world has opened up! As I am trying new things a whole new realm of recipe possibilities are opening up to me and I am loving it. What I am saying is- it IS possible to change your tastes! This is coming from a girl who lived on cereals and pasta and all things artificial. If you had told newly 30 year-old me that 31-year-old Rebekah would request homemade guacamole for her birthday meal, I would not have believed you!

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My all time favorite exercise: Adventures out with my family

  • I had help from friends. My husband has absolutely been amazing this past year. He is my biggest support and help. He has been trying to get healthy for years now, so he’s been all for trying new recipes and making healthy changes in our home. I dearly love my husband, but sometimes you just need a girl who understands all the emotional junk that comes along with this journey. My sister has been my secret weapon the past year. We have shared victories, frustrations, recipes, and fashion help (I ask- she helps). And as I started losing more and more weight people started noticing. Some people are natural cheerleaders. Find these people! I know the ladies at my church who will notice when I have lost another pound and will compliment me lavishly. I love seeing these people! When it feels like I am stuck, or just feel a little down on myself- they will always give me a little confidence boost.

 

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  • I realized this is a spiritual battle. I save the best for last. Here is the truth: none of this was me—it was all GOD. When my motivations are selfish, I will always fail over time. When my motivation is to glorify God with my life and my body, everything changes. I hugely recommend Lysa Terkeurst: ‘Made to Crave’ (or in the UK this link)* for anyone who wants to truly change her mind and heart in this area.

 

I said earlier this has been a personal journey. And this is what I have learned: it’s not about following all the rules correctly and achieving a top level; it’s about becoming. It’s about changing my daily habits, and my daily thoughts that then turn into weekly, monthly, and hopefully lifetime habits and thoughts. I think this is true of the Christian life as well. When I try to keep rules and expect perfection from myself—I fail. I fail big time. But when I daily make a choice to give God my heart and mind, I take steps at making new habits and patterns. I begin growing more like Him in my life in a process that will take a lifetime. Thankfully, it’s not a journey that I’m on in my own strength, but in His.

-Rebekah

*This post contains an affiliate link.  This means if you click the link and buy the book, I get a percentage of the sale and you don’t pay any extra!